Various urban legends: “Aren’t You Glad You Didn’t Turn on the Light?”, “The Killer in the Backseat”, “Hairy-Armed Hitchhiker”, “Humans Can Lick Too”, “Letter of Intent”, “Clown Statue”, “Microwaved Baby”, “Bride and Seek”
Text at snopes.com
Text at about.com
Due to the fact that I learned very specific versions of these legends and am particular about the details included when telling them, and because by their very nature they lend themselves well to being told aloud, I decided to do something different for this one and just talk rather than read. We all know these stories, anyway; a script isn’t really necessary. I tried to do them just the way I would if I were casually sharing them with a friend, so there is plenty of ‘um’ and ‘uh’ and ‘you know’ and ‘so’, if that kind of thing bothers you. I found this a very entertaining recording to make. I hope it entertains you, too.
“Humans Can Lick Too” has traumatized me since the first time I heard it, and I still think of it often at night when I am trying to fall asleep. “Clown Statue” is the only one to have actually given me a physical reaction, a literal jump and a wash of fear, at the end, when I realized what it was saying. There are, of course, multiple variations of every one of these, with different endings and embellishments, and the ones included here are just my personal favorites. The Internet is filled with them, if you should wish to read other versions.
Please excuse the sound of my phone; I got a text in the middle of recording.